Things are changing in the studio.
In my little world, it’s kind of a big deal. I’m making sculpture now. I started out making pots. Now, I’m making sculpture.
My partner helped me see the light. She knew it before I did; I’m not really a potter. I enjoy making pots, and occasionally, I’m pretty good at it, but I don’t enjoy it enough to make it work. I thought I did, but I don’t.
I had to learn the hard way. I burned through countless hours and more than three tons of materials before seeing the light. For nearly two years, I worked on developing my own line of pottery – honing designs, developing glazes, and tweaking decoration. The other eight days a week were spent fine-tuning photography and building a website. It was a ton of work.
After all that, I went public. I did the whole social-media/promotional thing, announcing to the world “I’m a potter” and “this is my website,” blah, blah. That honeymoon lasted about a week. The cracks in my plan started to show a few weeks after that.
I just knew, I began to see, my heart wasn’t in it. I wasn’t so proud of what I was doing that I would fight for it. I think that’s what’s needed. It’s probably what any creative type needs; you have to believe so much in what you’re doing, you’ll go to the matt for it. When it was all said and done, I just didn’t feel that way about my pots.
No doubt, it’s embarrassing to start something so publicly, then not get anywhere with it. You can’t take that kind of thing back. For awhile, I even thought about sticking it out, as if nothing was wrong. Ultimately, though, I had to suck it up and admit it wasn’t working – first to myself, then out loud to my partner, and now to anyone who’s reading this.
Shifting to sculpture doesn’t mean that I’ll be suddenly blessed with great work and good fortune. Far from it. I just know, from now on, whether I succeed or fail, I should be able to stand behind what I do; I believe in it that much. I started with sculpture. It’s always been my first love. It’s just taken me forever to own it. ∆