Today was another one of those days, a day full of doubt.
I get those every now and then. This time, it started with an article in the paper about Social Security. It got me thinking about my own security when I’m an old fart. I began to freak out. I don’t know about you, but it involved second-guessing my decision to pursue art.
“Just what in the hell am I doing in the studio?”
“I’m going to regret this one day.”
“This is so irresponsible.”
Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.
It was so bad, I started browsing for jobs online. I could be a “Level II Administrative Assistant,” right? It was time for lunch. I stewed in this shit for a few more hours…
Later, I was cleaning up one of these large hands I’m working on. Wiping it down with an old rag, some nice marks were left behind on a fingertip. They got my attention. It was just the kind of thing I like to see in my work. I was excited. Pretty quickly, I forgot all about that self-pity I was swimming in earlier. And so it goes. Sometimes, my confidence is that tenuous.
The marks left by the rag weren’t all that special. It wasn’t Jesus on a piece of toast. It was, though, just what I needed to see to keep me going, to keep me inspired and moving forward.
I’m sure I’ll find something else to flog myself with tomorrow. In the meantime, have you seen my hand?! It’s gonna be awesome. ∆